Tuesday, November 15, 2011

"Who died and made you God?"

Pastor Jeff's sermon a few weeks ago entitled "Who died and made you God" has really been on my mind this week. I don't know why I feel like I must be perfect ALL the time, but I am constantly comparing myself with this perfect idealistic image of myself which only discourages me because I'm NOT perfect.

I was looking through all the sermon outlines that I have written over the last few months, but couldn't find this one. Figures... yet another example that I am not perfect. I obviously misplaced it or never put it in the folder.

The main point of the sermon was that we shouldn't hold ourselves to such a high standard. We are human and will make mistakes and fail. If we were able to achieve perfection, then we would have a status like that of God. Now, this doesn't mean that we don't give a care in this world because we will never be perfect in this life, but that we must be willing to accept our failures and the failures of others.

I guess this topic has been on my mind for the same reason as many of the other posts... because of these group projects. When I am assigned a particular task, I make it as professional as I possibly can. I spell check, think of a theme, the colors, the fonts, the sizes, the images used throughout the PowerPoint, etc. So working on this group project, I was in charge of the presentation board last time. The senior girls were in charge of it for this past presentation, and I was just floored. Maybe they spent 15 minutes on it.. not sure. I was in awe. Then the PowerPoint.... only words on white slides.. Shoot me!!! I was so frustrated! I mean, this is my grade! I am trying to get into nursing school and if these two seniors are the reasons that I make a B and not get into nursing school then I will become overly dramatic and DIE! (which I'm good at being dramatic- probably learned from mom! :) haha Love you!) Why did I feel so frustrated? Why should I really care about how their presentation board and PowerPoint looked? I'm sure they were really proud of their work, so who was I to tear them down? I never said anything to them about it. I just smiled and said that since you did the presentation board this time, I'll do it next time! Seriously, who died and made me God? No one. Their presentation board and PowerPoint were perfectly fine! It had all the information that was needed, and yes, I would have completely presented everything differently, but what they did worked.
How I felt when I first saw their Presentation Board and Power Point!

I also made a 98 on a recent exam, and while most people would be enthusiastic for receiving such an excellent grade, I felt disappointed. I vividly remember asking myself walking to the bus from class, "How could you miss that one question? You are so stupid AJ! You could have made a 100 and you missed that one dumb question that made you fail by making a 98!" I have got to let go of this perfectionistic attitude. God wants my best. That's what I did and made a 98. I'm sure He is not ashamed that I made a 98! So, why should I be ashamed? I don't have any reason to be ashamed except for putting my standards higher than God's.

Why do I put so much pressure on myself in everything? Washing the car, completing homework, landscaping, what I'm wearing, cleaning, my job? I even sang in church this past Sunday and during rehearsals and the service missed one note that let me not be able to find the notes written for the ending. Was what I sang the part that was written? No. Was God still honored and glorified? I think so.

For this week, I am going to continue to remind myself that no one died and made me God! I am just going to do my best, and if that falls short from what my ideals of perfection are, then fine! God has sent a reminder through music the past few days though. Seriously, the last four times I have gotten into my car, "Do Everything" has been on the radio by Steven Curtis Chapman. The main lyrics that got me...

"And while I may not know you I bet I know you
Wonder sometimes does it matter at all
Well let me remind you it all matters just as long as you

Do everything you do to the glory of the One who made youCause He made you to do
Every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face
And tell the story of grace
With every move that you make
And every little thing you do"

"You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing."
-Psalm 16:2-

Thursday, November 10, 2011

A Brief Recap.

So sorry everyone. It has been far too long since I have written a new post, but have been caught up with the third round of exams and started a new job. So, here it goes.

1. Halloween Party. I went as a Proctologist because I had all the nursing stuff and didn't have to spend a dime. The Proctologist was actually deemed "scariest costume award." haha. We had a great time!

2. My Aunt Tonya came to town to see the ECU vs. Southern Miss game. We had a touchdown so early in the game, then completely lost it. However, the streaker during half time was fairly entertaining...

3. After being driven to insanity by so many group projects, I was assigned an additional group project and an individual presentation. Luckily, one group project and one presentation is completed. 4 group projects left and one individual project left before this semester is over! Thank God!

4. For the past few weeks, I have been able to landscape a few peoples lawns. I have mulched, weeded, and created planting beds, drawn two landscape presentation boards that include the names of the plants and how many would be needed. I may be a little busy this coming spring if everyone wants me to landscape their yard. I love it all though, and can't wait.

5. I have started my job at the hospital. This was the first week I have been there and have only been through orientation the entire time. If anyone wants to feel what "exhausting" means, then they should have to sit through the two days of corporate orientation... Glad those two days are over, and now working on departmental orientation. I am working part time during the night shift, but orientation is full time 8-5 Monday through Friday. Doesn't make sense to me, but it is what it is. I love walking around of the floor though. You definitely feel like a super hero on this team. Every hall you walk down has people who stop and wave (sometimes high five you-- total flashback to the 80's or some other decade before my time), sometimes even applaud. All of this and those awesome double doors that when you hit the button pushes a bunch of air into your face! :) Yeah, Superhero status!

6. Cypress Glen University just might send me to an early grave. I have completed one presentation (THANK YOU SO MUCH BROOKE STANCILL!!!!- You have no idea how important you were!). I feel like I should be getting paid for as much work I am putting in to this project. It's a constant battle with the seniors trying to establish meeting times. It's a constant battle with the seniors deciding what we want to present. It's a constant battle just trying to get a response via e-mail, text, or calling. I guess it's a great learning experience, but besides them, I have Cypress Glen people who need schedules, times, fliers, news blobs, etc. Our service contact person seems to only talk to me and one other girl in our group because we are the only ones who will respond, but the added workload is too much to handle. READY FOR THIS PROJECT TO BE COMPLETED THE MOST! Ahhhhhh!!!!

7. Started talking to this really nice and pretty girl who lives a christian life from what I can tell so far, and instantly there are three other girls fighting for my attention. It's the weirdest thing! I mean, I have gone for a few months without hearing of any ones interests and I begin talking to one girl and BAM, hello!

8. I ordered my my first set of scrubs and waiting for them to be monogrammed.

9. God gave me a gift by allowing my car to pass inspection. It's the small things in life, ya know. I have two good tires and two tires that are so bald that they may spontaneously explode at any moment! I took my vehicle in on the very last day in October, so I could have the entire month of November to be able to come up with the money for two new tires to pass inspection. Fortunately- and somewhat unfortunately- he only looked at the two good tires and allowed my car to pass. Now I can wait for my Dec 1st paycheck to buy some tires. Oh... I also recently learned that you have to rotate your tires. Who knew? I sure wasn't taught. Why don't they teach us this VALUABLE information in highschool? Is this just common knowledge? If it is, then I clearly missed out! I also learned this summer how to change my oil by myself.. What? I'm only 21. I guess the plan was to become wealthy enough to pay someone else to do it for me! :)

10. We recently had a family from Goldsboro at our church who are going to be medical missionaries to Togo, West Africa. For the past few months, I have been thinking that I would love to go on a medical missions trip. If I went now, I would only officially be an NA2, but it would be more than nothing. People need dressings, and I know sterile procedure! I am sure I could be used one way or another. I can't wait to be a nurse and go on trips, so I could really do some good!

11. The previous comment brings me to another point. Still waiting on nursing school. Really trying hard to be patient and trying to remember that God has perfect timing. He knows the best time to let me into nursing school. I should hear at some point between the middle of December until the day before spring semester. I have no idea how much money I need to begin to save. I am not good at this last minute stuff, but there is always a lesson in everything. Maybe this is just one of His small lessons to remind us about how awesome He is!

12. Finally, I know it's only Nov 10th, but Christmas is right around the corner. I have made my Christmas List and will start pulling out the outdoor Christmas lights out of the attic tomorrow afternoon. If we don't start now, then it might not be up by the weekend of Thanksgiving. We will focus on indoor decor that weekend! I know Jesus is the ONLY reason for the season, but I still love those shining lights and ornaments! This year I will actually get enjoy the season!Since working at Hallmark, the holiday season typically consisted of working 45-55 hours a week in 4-5 hour increments. This year, I work only 24 hours and two days the week of Christmas! Here's some pictures of what I look forward to each year, and yes, I may just be the only person in the entire world who actually enjoys untangling those Christmas lights! I also don't like "pre-lit" trees. It's takes away that feeling of accomplishment! :)