Tuesday, November 15, 2011

"Who died and made you God?"

Pastor Jeff's sermon a few weeks ago entitled "Who died and made you God" has really been on my mind this week. I don't know why I feel like I must be perfect ALL the time, but I am constantly comparing myself with this perfect idealistic image of myself which only discourages me because I'm NOT perfect.

I was looking through all the sermon outlines that I have written over the last few months, but couldn't find this one. Figures... yet another example that I am not perfect. I obviously misplaced it or never put it in the folder.

The main point of the sermon was that we shouldn't hold ourselves to such a high standard. We are human and will make mistakes and fail. If we were able to achieve perfection, then we would have a status like that of God. Now, this doesn't mean that we don't give a care in this world because we will never be perfect in this life, but that we must be willing to accept our failures and the failures of others.

I guess this topic has been on my mind for the same reason as many of the other posts... because of these group projects. When I am assigned a particular task, I make it as professional as I possibly can. I spell check, think of a theme, the colors, the fonts, the sizes, the images used throughout the PowerPoint, etc. So working on this group project, I was in charge of the presentation board last time. The senior girls were in charge of it for this past presentation, and I was just floored. Maybe they spent 15 minutes on it.. not sure. I was in awe. Then the PowerPoint.... only words on white slides.. Shoot me!!! I was so frustrated! I mean, this is my grade! I am trying to get into nursing school and if these two seniors are the reasons that I make a B and not get into nursing school then I will become overly dramatic and DIE! (which I'm good at being dramatic- probably learned from mom! :) haha Love you!) Why did I feel so frustrated? Why should I really care about how their presentation board and PowerPoint looked? I'm sure they were really proud of their work, so who was I to tear them down? I never said anything to them about it. I just smiled and said that since you did the presentation board this time, I'll do it next time! Seriously, who died and made me God? No one. Their presentation board and PowerPoint were perfectly fine! It had all the information that was needed, and yes, I would have completely presented everything differently, but what they did worked.
How I felt when I first saw their Presentation Board and Power Point!

I also made a 98 on a recent exam, and while most people would be enthusiastic for receiving such an excellent grade, I felt disappointed. I vividly remember asking myself walking to the bus from class, "How could you miss that one question? You are so stupid AJ! You could have made a 100 and you missed that one dumb question that made you fail by making a 98!" I have got to let go of this perfectionistic attitude. God wants my best. That's what I did and made a 98. I'm sure He is not ashamed that I made a 98! So, why should I be ashamed? I don't have any reason to be ashamed except for putting my standards higher than God's.

Why do I put so much pressure on myself in everything? Washing the car, completing homework, landscaping, what I'm wearing, cleaning, my job? I even sang in church this past Sunday and during rehearsals and the service missed one note that let me not be able to find the notes written for the ending. Was what I sang the part that was written? No. Was God still honored and glorified? I think so.

For this week, I am going to continue to remind myself that no one died and made me God! I am just going to do my best, and if that falls short from what my ideals of perfection are, then fine! God has sent a reminder through music the past few days though. Seriously, the last four times I have gotten into my car, "Do Everything" has been on the radio by Steven Curtis Chapman. The main lyrics that got me...

"And while I may not know you I bet I know you
Wonder sometimes does it matter at all
Well let me remind you it all matters just as long as you

Do everything you do to the glory of the One who made youCause He made you to do
Every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face
And tell the story of grace
With every move that you make
And every little thing you do"

"You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing."
-Psalm 16:2-

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